If you asked me ten years ago if I saw myself in a long-distance relationship, I probably would have laughed and made some comment about me being too needy and insecure to even consider that option. Yet, if you asked me today, I'd probably say it'll be one of my greatest challenges that is more than worth the effort. I was told a few months ago that a long-distance relationship would require 10x as much effort as a relationship that's physically closer. I expected it to be challenging, but when you add in the military lifestyle and ex-relationships, it can be a bit trickier.
A few weeks ago, I sat imagining about the possibility of being in a relationship with someone that I've known for ten years now. I was nervous he wouldn't think it would be worth it or that the distance would be too hard. I worried about not being good enough. I worried about getting hurt by rejection. I worried about all of the possibilities and "what if.." scenarios that I could possibly muster up. When people asked if we were dating, I didn't know what to say or how to answer. When you only call and text long-distance and don't go on actual "dates", it's hard to really define the relationship or classify yourselves as dating or together. I had the opportunity to talk to him and in the end, we ended up considering each other boyfriend/girlfriend.
Now is when the hard part begins. The challenge of not being able to see one another for about 9 months. The struggle of keeping insecurity and jealousy at bay. The feeling of missing someone constantly. The effort to help them know that they are important and missed. Finding creative ways to keep in touch and bring a smile to their face. Keeping my time occupied so I can stay busy. Experiencing birthdays and holidays apart from one another. Constantly reassuring myself that this is not the same as any other relationship. While all of these new challenges might take some time to adjust to, I also know that they are all more than worth it. When you find someone who can be open and honest with their feelings, fears, and worries, they're worth fighting for. I know long-distance relationships might leave more room for straying and detachment, I want to be the one to prove that wrong and strengthen the relationship and care that we have for one another. I'll make every effort to e-mail, to write letters, to journal, and to send things that remind me of him or that I think would make him happy.
It's hard falling for someone that's so far away, but it forces you to be open and vulnerable with what you're feeling. It forces you to communicate about things and talk about stuff. You have to develop an emotional intimacy when you can't be physically near the other person. This might be my first long-distance attempt, I don't plan on letting it defeat me. I plan on making every effort into making it the best relationship I've had. I already open up about some of my fears and insecurities I've had in the past. I feel like I can express my needs and that I am genuinely listened to. We make each other feel valued and important. Here's to hoping this next year flies by and that we can grow closer.
A few weeks ago, I sat imagining about the possibility of being in a relationship with someone that I've known for ten years now. I was nervous he wouldn't think it would be worth it or that the distance would be too hard. I worried about not being good enough. I worried about getting hurt by rejection. I worried about all of the possibilities and "what if.." scenarios that I could possibly muster up. When people asked if we were dating, I didn't know what to say or how to answer. When you only call and text long-distance and don't go on actual "dates", it's hard to really define the relationship or classify yourselves as dating or together. I had the opportunity to talk to him and in the end, we ended up considering each other boyfriend/girlfriend.
Now is when the hard part begins. The challenge of not being able to see one another for about 9 months. The struggle of keeping insecurity and jealousy at bay. The feeling of missing someone constantly. The effort to help them know that they are important and missed. Finding creative ways to keep in touch and bring a smile to their face. Keeping my time occupied so I can stay busy. Experiencing birthdays and holidays apart from one another. Constantly reassuring myself that this is not the same as any other relationship. While all of these new challenges might take some time to adjust to, I also know that they are all more than worth it. When you find someone who can be open and honest with their feelings, fears, and worries, they're worth fighting for. I know long-distance relationships might leave more room for straying and detachment, I want to be the one to prove that wrong and strengthen the relationship and care that we have for one another. I'll make every effort to e-mail, to write letters, to journal, and to send things that remind me of him or that I think would make him happy.
It's hard falling for someone that's so far away, but it forces you to be open and vulnerable with what you're feeling. It forces you to communicate about things and talk about stuff. You have to develop an emotional intimacy when you can't be physically near the other person. This might be my first long-distance attempt, I don't plan on letting it defeat me. I plan on making every effort into making it the best relationship I've had. I already open up about some of my fears and insecurities I've had in the past. I feel like I can express my needs and that I am genuinely listened to. We make each other feel valued and important. Here's to hoping this next year flies by and that we can grow closer.