Growing up, I'm pretty sure we've all heard the phrase:
Never judge a book by its cover.
So, why do we still have the tendency to judge others by first impressions and what we see?
Part of the reason we do this is because as humans, we prefer to incorporate new ideas and information with knowledge that we already have. It is easier to understand and make sense of something if we are able to relate it to what we already know. Unfortunately, some of the knowledge that we already have is stereotypical, all-encompassing, and does not always allow for flexibility in our opinions.
For example, if we are used to a busy city and meet someone new from a rural area, we begin to form an opinion about people in rural areas. If they [stereotypically] are hospitable, outgoing, and relatively relaxed, we may store that information away to use for later associations. Maybe the next time we visit a rural area, we might come to expect other residents to behave and respond in the same manner. When we encounter an individual that does not fit the mold or idea we have created, we tend to judge them for not fitting that particular mold.
This idea of judgment can be manifested in positive and negative ways. Sometimes we have preconceived notions and we are impressed when someone goes above what we expect or we may be less accepting when others do not live up to our expectations.
So, how can we avoid making these judgments?
We can avoid making these judgments by first seeing others as human beings. Every human being is unique in their styles, culture, beliefs, ideas, intelligence, etc. No other human being will be exactly like us or others in their identifiable groups. Going into the field of mental health, I have come to understand that every single person has a history and environment that helps shape who they are and what one believes. Appearances can often be deceiving. I'm sure many of us have experienced a period in our lives where we feel out of control and helpless or sad, yet we put on a brave face and cheerful appearance for those around us. Many are often oblivious to the hurt and struggles that we carry internally. It is important to recognize that others may be experiencing current hardships or carry around hurtful memories of their past. It is so easy to judge what is expressed, but who are we to really judge how a person feels inside?
Speaking from personal experience, I walked into my graduate school interview day and was immediately met with a large group of diverse individuals. Individuals of every religion, age, hair color, personality, you name it. It was so easy to make judgments of these other people. Part of me feels like I made these judgments to remember them and what makes them unique. Because I did not have all facts or time to get to really know them, I only judged them based on the limited information and appearance that I saw. I am both ashamed and proud that I have been able to make some changes in my views of others since that day. I may have viewed some as close-minded, annoying, unenthused, or even superficial. I am ashamed that I made these assumptions so quickly. I am proud that as I have entered the program, I was not rigid in my feelings and I have allowed myself to be more open and accepting to others. I think it's only fair that everyone is given a chance. I would hope that none of my other classmates would hold harsh criticisms of me without having an understanding of why I appear that way. By letting myself be more open, I have come to appreciate all of the unique qualities that these classmates have to offer. They are all filled with a desire to help others, compassion for humans, intelligence beyond belief, creative minds, and determination.
While it is easier said than done to not judge a book by its cover, I can really understand and comprehend what it means now. Sometimes you just need to open the book and get through the first few chapters before being able to really form a conclusion. Sometimes the first few chapters are full of surface information that is easier seen from an outside perspective, but once you get to the heart of the book, you really start to understand what's behind the appearance. Take some time and give people the benefit of the doubt. I know I have struggled with this many times in the past and just by allowing myself to be open, I've been able to make more connections with others and be a more compassionate and understanding person.
Never judge a book by its cover.
So, why do we still have the tendency to judge others by first impressions and what we see?
Part of the reason we do this is because as humans, we prefer to incorporate new ideas and information with knowledge that we already have. It is easier to understand and make sense of something if we are able to relate it to what we already know. Unfortunately, some of the knowledge that we already have is stereotypical, all-encompassing, and does not always allow for flexibility in our opinions.
For example, if we are used to a busy city and meet someone new from a rural area, we begin to form an opinion about people in rural areas. If they [stereotypically] are hospitable, outgoing, and relatively relaxed, we may store that information away to use for later associations. Maybe the next time we visit a rural area, we might come to expect other residents to behave and respond in the same manner. When we encounter an individual that does not fit the mold or idea we have created, we tend to judge them for not fitting that particular mold.
This idea of judgment can be manifested in positive and negative ways. Sometimes we have preconceived notions and we are impressed when someone goes above what we expect or we may be less accepting when others do not live up to our expectations.
So, how can we avoid making these judgments?
We can avoid making these judgments by first seeing others as human beings. Every human being is unique in their styles, culture, beliefs, ideas, intelligence, etc. No other human being will be exactly like us or others in their identifiable groups. Going into the field of mental health, I have come to understand that every single person has a history and environment that helps shape who they are and what one believes. Appearances can often be deceiving. I'm sure many of us have experienced a period in our lives where we feel out of control and helpless or sad, yet we put on a brave face and cheerful appearance for those around us. Many are often oblivious to the hurt and struggles that we carry internally. It is important to recognize that others may be experiencing current hardships or carry around hurtful memories of their past. It is so easy to judge what is expressed, but who are we to really judge how a person feels inside?
Speaking from personal experience, I walked into my graduate school interview day and was immediately met with a large group of diverse individuals. Individuals of every religion, age, hair color, personality, you name it. It was so easy to make judgments of these other people. Part of me feels like I made these judgments to remember them and what makes them unique. Because I did not have all facts or time to get to really know them, I only judged them based on the limited information and appearance that I saw. I am both ashamed and proud that I have been able to make some changes in my views of others since that day. I may have viewed some as close-minded, annoying, unenthused, or even superficial. I am ashamed that I made these assumptions so quickly. I am proud that as I have entered the program, I was not rigid in my feelings and I have allowed myself to be more open and accepting to others. I think it's only fair that everyone is given a chance. I would hope that none of my other classmates would hold harsh criticisms of me without having an understanding of why I appear that way. By letting myself be more open, I have come to appreciate all of the unique qualities that these classmates have to offer. They are all filled with a desire to help others, compassion for humans, intelligence beyond belief, creative minds, and determination.
While it is easier said than done to not judge a book by its cover, I can really understand and comprehend what it means now. Sometimes you just need to open the book and get through the first few chapters before being able to really form a conclusion. Sometimes the first few chapters are full of surface information that is easier seen from an outside perspective, but once you get to the heart of the book, you really start to understand what's behind the appearance. Take some time and give people the benefit of the doubt. I know I have struggled with this many times in the past and just by allowing myself to be open, I've been able to make more connections with others and be a more compassionate and understanding person.