I don't know about you, but I have found that I am an anxious person, especially when it comes to putting myself out there. I am not the person in class or a meeting to simply introduce myself as if I've known you my whole life. I am awkward at making conversation and I don't always know how to initiate it.
That being said, I took a huge leap and decided to just sign up. (If I pay for it, that means I'm locked in and obligated, right?) I had been contemplating attending an event for quite some time.. and by some time, I mean the months that I continually received updates about the upcoming events. The event takes place at a bar downtown. So not my scene, but it looked like an upscale location and I could sacrifice one night of comfort.
Going into this, I am keeping the mindset of "I don't need to find my future husband, but it couldn't hurt to meet potential matches or friends." This way I don't get my hopes up and I have realistic expectations. So now comes the time to panic. I am going through all possible negative scenarios: I'm not dressed well enough, I look too young, no one will find my personality likable, I won't feel a connection with anyone else, the other girls will be SO much cooler and prettier than me, I won't know what to talk about, what if they don't like kids, etc. I started looking up the best tips for speed dating and felt completely out of my element. So, here is my goal and my personal 101 on speed dating.
1. It's Just For Fun Okay, easier said than done. I typically take life pretty seriously, but am learning to be more spontaneous and open-minded. This is not an interview for a husband, but an opportunity to meet people I could potentially connect with. It doesn't have to be love at first site and it should not be compared to a business interview. It will be one of my bucket list items regardless of the outcome. Might as well at least attempt to have fun.
2. Dress to Impress Ugh, another one of my problem areas. I lack wardrobe zen and could easily nominate myself for "What Not to Wear"...( is that show even still airing?) If I am not in work scrubs, I am in jeans and some drab t-shirt with sandals or tennis shoes... on occasion I can be found in yoga pants and a workout top. After reading a few sites, I've come to the conclusion that I should dress as if I'm "going on a first date." I'm sure this implies a somewhat form-fitting dress with heels and a full face of make-up with hair done. This might be for those women that have those model bodies and have flawless faces on a daily basis. For me, this means digging a dress out of my closet, dusting off the fuzz that may have accumulated, and trying to pull it off with a pair of heels that I'm sure are not broken in yet. I will probably attempt to get at least the basic makeup on my face and get my fly-aways to stay down. I have been to a few weddings and graduations, so I'm sure I can come up with something. I'm just hoping nobody is expecting that bandage dress with the 4-inch heels.
3. Use Those Improv Skills At one time, back in high school, I used to be on the drama team for my church. I used to practice improve and even did a few plays and skits. I'm not sure what changed in the past 12 years, but I lose most of that comfort and quick-thinking. Since I haven't had to use them in a while, they might be rusty, but there are always a few topics that are safe. Travels I am mostly a home-body, but there are a few places that I have visited as well as a few places I hope to visit in my lifetime. Seems like a safe area. Future Goals Okay, this could have the tendency to be slightly personal, but I don't think it's too much to ask what a potential partner might see in their future. Is it a goal to travel the world, to move to another state, to work 80 hours a week... see not too much of a stretch. Embarrassing Moments Everyone has them. Sometimes to share them with others shows that you're human too and just as vulnerable and susceptible to this long-lasting life moments. However, I'd shy away from mentioning any previous partners. Movies and Hobbies Most people enjoy watching movies and listening to music. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to share some common interests or things that can be enjoyed together? Job or Career Field Sometimes it's interesting and insightful to know what someone else does for their job. Sometimes it shows political affiliation, passions, and personality. This will definitely be one of those topics I'd likely to slyly bring up. And lastly, my favorite topic: Food I have found that both men and women can offer interesting tidbits when it comes to food. What types of meals can each person cook, what types of cuisine is their favorite, etc. Food should be a universal language.
So I know I haven't really touched on all of the basics of speed dating, but that's because it is all new to me and I am putting on my positive pants and going into this with a hopeful mindset and I would be lying if I said I didn't want a fun story to tell afterward. I will try to update more as the date is about 16 days away. I will probably do some more worrying and researching prior to attending.
That being said, I took a huge leap and decided to just sign up. (If I pay for it, that means I'm locked in and obligated, right?) I had been contemplating attending an event for quite some time.. and by some time, I mean the months that I continually received updates about the upcoming events. The event takes place at a bar downtown. So not my scene, but it looked like an upscale location and I could sacrifice one night of comfort.
Going into this, I am keeping the mindset of "I don't need to find my future husband, but it couldn't hurt to meet potential matches or friends." This way I don't get my hopes up and I have realistic expectations. So now comes the time to panic. I am going through all possible negative scenarios: I'm not dressed well enough, I look too young, no one will find my personality likable, I won't feel a connection with anyone else, the other girls will be SO much cooler and prettier than me, I won't know what to talk about, what if they don't like kids, etc. I started looking up the best tips for speed dating and felt completely out of my element. So, here is my goal and my personal 101 on speed dating.
1. It's Just For Fun Okay, easier said than done. I typically take life pretty seriously, but am learning to be more spontaneous and open-minded. This is not an interview for a husband, but an opportunity to meet people I could potentially connect with. It doesn't have to be love at first site and it should not be compared to a business interview. It will be one of my bucket list items regardless of the outcome. Might as well at least attempt to have fun.
2. Dress to Impress Ugh, another one of my problem areas. I lack wardrobe zen and could easily nominate myself for "What Not to Wear"...( is that show even still airing?) If I am not in work scrubs, I am in jeans and some drab t-shirt with sandals or tennis shoes... on occasion I can be found in yoga pants and a workout top. After reading a few sites, I've come to the conclusion that I should dress as if I'm "going on a first date." I'm sure this implies a somewhat form-fitting dress with heels and a full face of make-up with hair done. This might be for those women that have those model bodies and have flawless faces on a daily basis. For me, this means digging a dress out of my closet, dusting off the fuzz that may have accumulated, and trying to pull it off with a pair of heels that I'm sure are not broken in yet. I will probably attempt to get at least the basic makeup on my face and get my fly-aways to stay down. I have been to a few weddings and graduations, so I'm sure I can come up with something. I'm just hoping nobody is expecting that bandage dress with the 4-inch heels.
3. Use Those Improv Skills At one time, back in high school, I used to be on the drama team for my church. I used to practice improve and even did a few plays and skits. I'm not sure what changed in the past 12 years, but I lose most of that comfort and quick-thinking. Since I haven't had to use them in a while, they might be rusty, but there are always a few topics that are safe. Travels I am mostly a home-body, but there are a few places that I have visited as well as a few places I hope to visit in my lifetime. Seems like a safe area. Future Goals Okay, this could have the tendency to be slightly personal, but I don't think it's too much to ask what a potential partner might see in their future. Is it a goal to travel the world, to move to another state, to work 80 hours a week... see not too much of a stretch. Embarrassing Moments Everyone has them. Sometimes to share them with others shows that you're human too and just as vulnerable and susceptible to this long-lasting life moments. However, I'd shy away from mentioning any previous partners. Movies and Hobbies Most people enjoy watching movies and listening to music. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to share some common interests or things that can be enjoyed together? Job or Career Field Sometimes it's interesting and insightful to know what someone else does for their job. Sometimes it shows political affiliation, passions, and personality. This will definitely be one of those topics I'd likely to slyly bring up. And lastly, my favorite topic: Food I have found that both men and women can offer interesting tidbits when it comes to food. What types of meals can each person cook, what types of cuisine is their favorite, etc. Food should be a universal language.
So I know I haven't really touched on all of the basics of speed dating, but that's because it is all new to me and I am putting on my positive pants and going into this with a hopeful mindset and I would be lying if I said I didn't want a fun story to tell afterward. I will try to update more as the date is about 16 days away. I will probably do some more worrying and researching prior to attending.